Barter Town

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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Draining, Draining...All the Time Draining

God damn, how can some stupid fucking cold inhibit me so widely in everything I do? Every time I try and shift a muscle it feels like I'm hackin' up a lung, it's worse than bronchitis infecting a parapalegic HIV victim. Probably not, but I'm not some faggot who daintly tries to cloak the extent of his illnesses. When I'm in shit, DAMN, I make sure folks know I'm in shit! The only way to really overcome your weaknesses is to bitch about them - that way they're always on your mind, always pestering your gray melon, and you're so sullen and bitter about'm that your body works on the double to hustle'm right through the door, whether it's your esophageal or anal or urethral. But it's gotta bounce.

Also trying to add lines is terribly unresponsive and I near spent ten seconds rewriting the word "terribly" because hey, I'm focused on this cold here, not my stupid fingers tapping away at this marred keyboard.

And of course, because I'm getting really bored unable to do jack shit in any way with any person I know, I start looking up horror stories. Some of the things people think up here are absolutely BONKERS, shit that makes me literally poop my pants in fright. I'm be blunt here - unnerving stories horrify me a tad bit more than green leaves spread on Cuban cigar paper. That's something for me, considering if I noticed some asshole rolling one of those abominations I'd murder him with Treatch's padlock chain and bury his body six hundred feet beneath the blue Hudson.

This whole thing with a Slender Man guy, though, seems to be so popular on this site. Supposedly, he's some big, tall, pale dude who walks gawkily and kills your shit through insanity, or straightforward body gashing, or by sending his little pals to tease and smack the fuck out of you. Seemed pretty interesting, 'til I started reading about all the other people "infected" because they kept reading about him, and posting about him. Then I noticed there were a lot of people saying that.

A hell of a lot of people.

To say the least, my attitude turned from inquisitive to apprehensive in the span it takes to shut off any World Class Wreckin' Cru tape. The stories, they're absolutely riveting stuff, to be sure; this site is a hotbed for up and coming authors. I'm just hoping these kids are REALLY, REALLY imaginative, and there isn't a basis of truth in whatever they're pounded out and distributed across the internet.

I just wrote "to be sure" twice. Don't worry, it's gone now. Redundancy's a female canine, ehh? For all my younger viewers, you should probably hit the sack. Hell, I doubt your parents would want you watching this show anyway.

Signing off,

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