Long story short, some SHIT went down a couple of days ago. Serious occurrences. And I can't give you all the skinny on how me and Marley are doing, but this'll probably suffice:
You know all those big capital red letter posts? I couldn't see those before, but HO BOY, now I can. The funny thing is, not a soul's touched my computer since I bounced away from those Slender thugs a while back. And my password is fingerprint-encrypted (don't ask), so unless somebody chopped off my pointer and got it back on without me noticing, nobody's getting into this account normally. In which case, we've got only one option left to consider.
Whatever's been posting here is not a human being. Considering this very, very disturbing incident a couple of nights back, I'm sure that's the case now.
Mr. AmalgamationSage, we need to talk. If you see this, hit me up at my e-mail. email@example.com. You think you've got room for a spare person on your mission to defeat Big S-Dawg? Because I'd love to accompany and assist you in that noble endeavor.