OFFICIAL RETURN BLOG POST (EDITING IN PROGRESS)

Hey guys! I'm back from an...from an extended hiatus. As you can probably tell from the last post, things didn't work out quite well for me, and I'm not entirely sure where to go from here! Considering I'm A) not involved with anybody else, B) in no state for networking, and (most pertinently) C) have some funky issues of my own going around down in my part of town. I'm not like Kaiju, luckily. There isn't a fake version of me running about doing stuff and messing with the natural (HA) order of events. But what's happened may amount to something worse than a doppelganger. At least Frap (and maybe his crew?) have got my back. MY NIGGAS, you could say. You think you could pop out that alliteration demon out again, Frap? Splendid discussions we partook in.

I kid, I kid. BUT NOW IT'S ADULT TALK TIME

And just a note, Joce? Are those dudes stalking you really fucking big, and really fucking bulky? Do they look like miniature Zangiefs with bulging muscles, and do they have really weird, blank, dog-stupid stares? You should get out as soon as you can if they are. Because you won't be able to stop them, unless Slender Man gave'm a few new tricks or took that one away, and I wouldn't gamble on our buddy ol' pal being the nicest of chaps and granting us even the smallest tidbit of mercy with all of these plans going into action. OKAY, BACK ON TOPIC

Just by preliminarily glancing at those four (or five?) so posts that happened when I slumbered blissfully away, I notice some things. One: That shit is DEFINITELY not from me. My fingers are a-okay, I don't have a typewriter, and I've never been involved with paranormal activities or any organization working in parallel to the PTC, or jointly with them. My life's events can be summed up in two adjectives: pretty dull, and I intend to revert it back to those fantastic times before giant multi-tentacled monstrosities began stalking me all across the U-S-O-A. Secondly, these posts aren't describing the Slender Man. I don't think so, anyway, unless he's taken the form of a giant obelisk which, again, doesn't fit the profile of our Black King. From what I've discerned by skimming through the blogs of all the good guy players swiftly maneuvering and swerving to get a shot in at Fat Albert on Nutrisystem, that...location meticulously detailed in those posts doesn't match with the Shadow Zone he inhabits, either. Oh boy, now I've got an image of Slender Man playing Yu-Gi-Oh. That faggot would probably play a Toon/Thousand Eyes Restrict deck like Pegasus did in the last episodes. And we don't have Exodia because Weevil is a GOD DAMN COCKSUCKING BITCH. Speaking of which, S-Dawg hasn't bothered to bother me since I woke up, and those two thugs aren't on my tail, so I'm going to lay low, catch my breath, and take a plunge into a new puzzle to solve.

Oh boy, can't wait.

Oh, yeah, and one more thing. I have a sneaking suspicion something about those posts isn't all right and proper. After I go take a shower I'm going to comb through these fuckers like an anteater scrounging for prey. And by that, I mean I'm going to lick my computer screen until it all becomes clear, and my mind's appetite is fully satiated.

Shit, that's gonna take a while.

NEVER PG-13,

THE STUPENDOUS MENACE, SNORE-DE-BLISS